Sex in the Office: 5 Places I’d Rather Not Catch You

Well now. People are sure up in arms about this whole David Letterman sex scandal.

Color me surprised. I thought people would be upset because of the extortion aspect. Extortion = not cool, at least in my book.

But what is really getting people’s goats is the whole “David Letterman had sex with his coworkers” thing.

It’s not the first time people have had sex with their coworkers. It certainly won’t be the last. (And, note, I’m not saying that people should abuse their authority or position in these types of situations. If you’re the boss, you can not tell your underling that he will lose his job if he doesn’t sleep with you. You can not tell someone vying for a raise that she’ll only get it if she sleeps with you. Do not open yourself up to a sexual harassment claim.)

If you’ve been making googly eyes at your coworker (who preferably is at the same level, career-wise, as you and preferably works in a different department or with a different team), and your coworker has been making googly eyes back, then why not?

We’re all consenting adults, right? (Unless the objection of your affection is an underage intern or something. Then no. Bad! And might I mention, ew!)

Just try to resist its alluring siren song.

That being said, however, just because I know it happens doesn’t mean I want to, you know, see it with my own eyes. So, anyway, here’s a list of the five places I do not want to run into you having an affair with your coworker.

5 Places You Should Not Have Intra-Office Affairs

5. Supply Closet: There’s nothing office people like more than Post-Its and staplers. So, there is a good chance someone’s going to need something from the supply closet during the day. And, by need “something” I do not mean “a peep show.”

4. Conference Room: Meetings are bad enough. What’s worse is waiting for a couple to finish up their own “Power Point presentation.”

3. Parking Lot: The only thing that should be hurt during your cigarette break is your lungs, not your eyes.

2. Your Office: Although, I guess that would make that annoying lady who’s always collecting money for baby showers and birthday parties knock first. For once.

1. Someone Else’s Office: Actually…that one is sort of funny. Except for mine, please. Gross. (Just kidding, I don’t even have an office!)

Basically, don’t do it at work. Come on, you’re a little classier than that. I know there’s nothing more alluring than the sexy fluorescent lights of a conference room, but there are seedy hotels for a reason!

Anyway, have you ever caught your coworkers in compromising positions? Or, have you ever been caught? What were the consequences?